on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
