While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
