I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize