4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize