i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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