i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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