I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
