Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
