let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
