Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
