Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
