I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
