JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
