I wanna passion pit in your ass
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its not stalking. its research.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
