Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
