Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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