Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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