My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
