sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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