mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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