Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
