i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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