he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
