he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize