woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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