Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize