Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
