Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
