I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
