How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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