omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
