Say something about gay babies.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
