"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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