I faked an abortion last night.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
