We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
