Nicole vs. Life
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize