your thong is hanging out like whoa
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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