I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
