You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
