don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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