Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
