Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize