what day is it and did you see me today?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
