I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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