we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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