I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
