Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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