I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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