i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize