I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Please don't give away my fajitas
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
