blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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