Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
