That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
accomplished twins. life is a go
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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